Hurt threads through her words and I feel the pain as if it were my own. Some writers have a way of sharing that makes us feel completely in tune with them.
As I’ve been reading ‘Love Embraced: A Journey In and Through Suffering’, it was like looking into a mirror. Our reasons for grief and pain, our struggles, guilt and shame may have different origins, but nonetheless, Anna Louise Smit and I are on the same page.
Wounded soul speaking to wounded soul. A woman aching to be loved. Needing her Saviour’s reassurance and tender touch. Oh yes, me too.
There were several passages that resonated strongly with me, but this statement in particular could have been describing my own walk of faith:
Surrendering is an ongoing process as we press into Jesus in the overcoming of a painful past, and in seeking the daily solace our soul craves. It’s a continual yielding and resting in His grace.
And those walls? Mine are crumbling, falling faster as I allow God closer access to them. He shifts a few bricks here and there, and now and then several of them collapse into a heap at my feet.
Sometimes they surprise us anew with their constrictions, but I sense a gradual loosening over time, a breath of Holy Spirit air sighing its way into the gaps. Light appearing through the darkness.
I’ve felt fear and emotional pain closing me in over years. I’ve held my shaky self against its walls, seeking refuge of sorts behind the barricades.
I’ve been weighed down with the heaviness of heartache, sealed and cemented with tears. Held fast to a faltering foundation that can’t support me.
The poem below (taken from my book, (‘Seeking Solace: Discovering grace in life’s hard places’) reveals something of the pain of living with a wall around our hearts.
Wall around my heart
There is a wall
around my heart,
hardening from hurt and pain,
stony through suffering and shame,
growing taller, thicker by the year,
until I feel
I could disappear…
Please come over to read the rest of this post at my writer friend, Anna Smit’s, beautiful blog ‘Joy of the Spirit Within’ where I am honoured to be guest posting today. Her new book – ‘Love Embraced: A Journey In and Through Suffering’ – about the pain of loss and grief , and discovering how God’s love holds us fast during our suffering, is due for release on Mother’s Day (May 8th in the USA) and I will be reviewing it soon. Just click here to join me there… Thank you! 🙂